#57

I love my husband.

Really, I do. The man is so amazing. He loves me at my best and my worst. And I am so lucky to have him. And the man makes a great cheerleader!

I have been struggling with the weight/body image issues since I had my girls, two years ago. It is no one's fault but my own. I am lousy at sticking to a workout routine and diets are just unheard of! But the last few weeks I have really been cracking down on myself. I have been exercising a lot, way more than I ever have before. The eating habits are still completely horrible! But I am doing better, like no more snacking in the evening.

And my treadmill time. Man, I am so proud of myself tonight and yet so embarrassed. When J and I got married (6 years ago) I could run a 8:30-9 minute mile. I know, that is not amazing. That is pretty good for a non-athlete like myself though. Now? I couldn't run for 8 minutes straight is I tried. I know this, because I have tried. But the reason I am proud of myself is that tonight, I did 25 minutes total on the treadmill, and 5 minutes of that was jogging! Granted, they were not consecutive minutes, but I did the time and am really happy with myself. I pushed myself and am hoping to do better tomorrow. Yeah, that is also the embarrassing thing, that I am so out of shape that I cannot jog. I am changing that, though!

And the husband was great. He is in amazing shape. I think he has always been in amazing shape. It's not just that he is a soldier, because there are a lot of soldiers that are out of shape. He is just 'that guy' that physical fitness comes naturally to. So when I look at myself compared to him, its disgusting. However, he was proud of me tonight. He really doesn't care how pathetic I am. And he celebrates my achievements, no matter how petty they might seem.

Damn, I am lucky to have him.