#365

Wow. For the last year, I have ended my night with a post. Sometimes they were terribly boring. Sometimes they were hard to write. And sometimes I offended people.  No matter what, I stuck to my plan. And here we are, 365 days later, at the end of this road. 

This last year had been amazingly great at times. Other times, it has been gut wrenchingly hard. I have learned a lot about myself and the people I surround myself with. And I have proven, to myself and anyone interested in my determination, that I can accomplish a goal I set for myself. 

I didn't really know what to expect when I started this. I just knew I was going to write something every night. Which sounds easy enough. But the actual doing it was not easy. There were many times when it was hard. And two or three times I seriously considered quitting. 

But I kept on going. Probably because I am too stubborn for my own good. And, thank goodness I did. Because this has taught me so much. 

I have something to say. Whether people want to hear it or not is another matter! But the only person that is allowed to shut me up is me. 

And I am pretty good at sticking to my goals.

This blog was for me and me alone. It was so I could feel like I had accomplished something. It was to get myself in to the habit of writing every day. Which, I did!

Tomorrow, I will wake up as a 25 year old. Though I already feel like I am 35. I will do my every day stuff, taking care of the girls and the house. 

And tomorrow be for I go to bed, I will sit down and write. Hopefully something fun. 

So thanks, everyone, for going through the past year with me. Thank you for being a part of my day, or taking the time to read about my day. 

Have a good year. 

#364

I remember my first post being about spening the day at the clinic with my sick girls. Almost exactly a year ago, we did the same think as today. With a few differences.

We went to the library for story time this morning. Even though it was raining and cold, and I just wanted to sit on the counch in my pj's. After that, we went to the bank, followed by Walmart. I wanted to get as much done today as possible. I don't want to go out tomorrow. The weather is yucky, and there is a chance for snow.

After lunch, we headed to the clinic. After over two hours, we headed home with 6 different prescriptions for two girls with double ear infections/sinus infections. Which made me feel guilty. I always wait to take my girls to the dr, instead of rushing there at the first sign of illness. Which generally means, my daughters suffer for a while before I take them to the dr. But I don't like to be one of those crazy mommy's that is scared of their child having a sniffle. Oh, the joys of questioning your every move!

The weather, our busy day, and the general achiness that I feel all came together to make me exhausted. P asked to go to bed early, and K thought it was a great idea. So at 6:30 they went to sleep and I lay down on the couch with J. And I woke up around 7:30 to J telling me to go to bed. Yep, I was asleep before my daughters normal bedtime.

And I still would be asleep if it wasn't for my bladder. Good thing I woke up though, or I would have missed telling everyone about my mundane day!

Now, back to sleep for this tired girl.

#363

As far as Sundays go, today was good. 

The girls weren't feeling so great and were acting up during Mass. I wasn't feeling so great, so I had no patience and we left early. 

We decorated our Christmas tree, set out our nativity and Advent wreath. The girls loved it all. Last year they were scared of the tree, but this year they decorated it. Well, they decorated the bottom half! It looks cute and they had fun. J had fun helping them, he is such a good dad. 

After dinner, we played Candyland. This was our first time with board games. They were not thrilled with everyone bring on different spots. Their favorite was when we were all grouped together. Silly girls don't have the competitive spirit yet. But they had a blast once they got the hang of it all. 

Today was not my best day in the patience department. So after the chicks went to sleep, I lazed on the couch with a couple chocolate chip cookies. Which really helped! And when J came to sit with me, I was in a way better mood and we were able to have a few laughs. 

Great way to end a day. 

#362

Today is a sad day for my family. My sister J's family dog died. Whiskey was 13 years old. A huge part of our family. And one of the greatest dogs in the world. When people would talk about the horrible Pit Bull breed, she was my example of the amazing creatures they are. That dog loved with her every cell, and was loved so much in return. We will all miss her so much. Prayers, especially for my nieces and nephew who lost their best friend. 

Before I received the bad news, we had a good day. J and I took the girls to spend their birthday money from J's grandparents. We went to the crazy land of Toys R Us. P immediately decided she wanted the box of 6 dress up shoes. K thought it was a great idea as well. We walked through the whole store, then back to the dress up stuff. We got the shoes, and new umbrellas- Rapunzel and Tinkerbell. It is currently raining, so hopefully it will continue into the morning so they can use their new presents. 

Hobby Lobby was having a great sale. I went in to get plain glass ornaments for a project. And we walked out with them plus 2 wooden signs and 4 metal signs for our house. Everything we bought was 50% off!

3 signs were for the girls' room. They say "Star light, star bright, first star I see tonight; I wish I may, I wish I might, have this wish I wish tonight", "Sunshine, you are my sunshine!", and "I found my prince... I call him Daddy" I think we are going to save them for Christmas presents. 

The other signs say "Do one thing everyday that makes you happy", "May the Lord bless you, keep you, and give you peace", and "In our house: We do second chances, we say prayers, we do I'm sorry's, we do loud really well, we give hugs, we do love, we are family" I love them! Now to decide where they belong...

We had planned to decorate for Christmas today. J even got everything from the shed. But we never got around to it. The girls didn't take a nap because we were out shopping. And they are both getting pretty yucky- looks like we will be going to the clinic on Monday. So we took it easy and played with their new shoes. Around 6, K brought me her pj's because she was ready for bed. 

So tomorrow, the first Sunday of Advent, we will deck the house in pretty things. While we listen to Christmas music. 

I wish my P could sleep better. Every night this week she has been waking up with a cough and a cry. And now K is joining in. 

#361

Migraine Holly, vomiting and coughing P, sensitive and snotty K, and sore throat J. That was our family today!

I went to bed with a migraine, had a horrible night sleep with cray dreams, and woke up with a migraine. Thankfully, J let me sleep in super late. But he woke me up so we could take the girls to the movies as promised. My sister gave them money for their birthday to go to the movies. So to Happy Feet 2 we went.

The chicks loved the movie. Cute penguins, singing and dancing- what more do you need? It really was cute and the girls sat still for the whole movie. They ate popcorn and had juice. Everyone was happy.

Then, on the ride home, P got upset and was coughing. two seconds before we pulled into our driveway, she vomited. A lot. And then a lot more. So we got the girls in the house, stripped them down, threw them in the bath. Stripped the carseat down, threw what we could in the washer and hosed off the rest. I am thinking the popcorn + coughing/phlegm were the vomit culprits. But if her cough and snot (which she has shared with her sister) don't ease up, a trip to the dr might be in order.

Since we were all feeling yucky in one way or another, the evening was spent in pj's with a new but forgotten present. J and I bought the girls dry erase preschool books. Letter, number, and shape tracing. And all on dry erase, so they can be practiced a million times without murdering a trillion trees. The girls loved their new books. We worked on letters, and a little on numbers. They were so excited to trace the letters and get an idea of how to write them. J and I were the proud parents cheering on their girls. It was a great thing to watch, and I can't wait to do it all again tomorrow.

#360

Part of my brain has a hard time enjoying thanksgiving. If you let yourself think about it too much, it becomes a bit depressing. 'The first Thanksgiving' was all about helping one another. The natives of this land took the newly arrived immigrants under their protection. The new people were taught how to live, grow food, and stay alive in this strange land. Bonds were formed. And at the end of the harvesting season, the abundance of their laboratory were shared. Thanks was given in earnest. 

As time marched on, as it does, the natives and teachers were pushed back farther from their land and eventually farther from this world. While the immigrants became the natives. Every year they remembered their good fortune and gave thanks. But never thanked the people that taught their ancestors to survive. 

Like I said, it can be depressing if you think about it to much. 

This day, and what it has transformed in to is not all bad. It is actually pretty great when you celebrate it in thanks. Which is what we tried to do at our house. 

I cooked and baked a great meal. My daughters played. My husband cleaned the house so it looked great for our guests. My dogs waited for scraps they didn't get, and barked at anyone who dared to walk by our house. 

When our friends arrived, we talked and played and finished the preparations for a great meal. We said Grace. We ate. And then we talked and played some more. 

I really an thankful for my life and everything in it. I have an amazing family, friends who mean so much to me, health, love, and the promise that I will always be loved by our Father. 

What more could I need?

Well... Honestly I could use a migraine free life. That bastard is killing my thankful mood at the moment. 

#359

This morning was hard. P had a horrible night. She and I were awake after 2 am because she was upset. I think she had a bad dream and some gunk in her chest, which combined to give her a fear of going back to sleep. Do we cuddled on the couch for a couple hours. And when I thought it was safe, I put her back in her bed with extra good night-sweet dreams kisses. Then I fell into my bed and a sweet comatose sleep. For what felt like five minutes. 

The girls were up before 7. And even though she had less than 9 hours of consecutive sleep (she usually gets close to 12) P was in a great mood and as chipper as could be. Me, not so much. So I turned on 'the dragon movie' and let Hiccup and Toothless entertain my daughters while I relaxed. 

This evening I began baking. And tomorrow I will cook a killer Thanksgiving meal and bake some more. But first, let me share a little backstory. 

Christmas 2007, Jacob had just gotten home from a deployment. Really, he had been home for a little over 24 hours. And I wanted to make him a pecan pie, because e loves them. And, you might have heard, I like to bake. So I got a recipe and made my first pecan pie. 

It was horrible. I think that was the first and only time I have screwed up so bad that I threw out something I had baked. I felt like a total failure- for the completely ruined pie, and for looking like a fool in front of my husband whom I had not seen in 15 months. Bad, bad memory. 

This evening, I made pecan pie bars. My first step back into the pecan pie ring since that first fail. I was nervous. I almost didn't make them. One doesn't easily forget that kind of screw up.

But, my friends, my house smells amazing. The bars are cooling on the counter. And they look pretty. Tomorrow will be the true test, when they are cut and tasted. But tonight I will go to sleep feeling like I conquered that damn pie. 

Which is a great way to feel on the eve of a holiday for thanks. 

#358

"Doubt that the stars are fire;
Doubt that the sun doth move;
Doubt truth to be a liar;
But never doubt I love."

Shakespeare said that. You might have heard of him. he was and is famous for his words. Sound familiar?

I read this today and loved it. I am ok with people doubting me. You are free to think of me as you will. Doubt my past, present, future. Doubt my intentions and expectations. Doubt everything I am, have been, and will be. 

But never, never doubt my love. For myself,my family, my life, my God,my country... Love is what my life is all about. 

Oddly enough, I was reading about Good Old Bill the other day. I guess I always just took the Bard at face value. I was taught that he was a crazy awesome playwright. And who doesn't love his tragedies? But apparently there are a ton of theories about him. Did he really write the stuff we attribute to him? His parents were illiterate. His children were illiterate. He was poor. He didn't even spell his name consistently. 

Eh, who cares. Whether it was Billy boy or his lover- the person who wrote all those amazing words was great. That is what it boils down to. And now, I am done with that rambling thought. 

This morning we had an oh so fun WIC appointment. Yay. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate the food. But I don't appreciate a woman telling me some pretty silly things. Like I should be cutting up my three year olds' food. Choking hazard- bah. And my kids eat better than most adults, so I have no problem giving them desserts that I make. So there. 

My little monster P is not having a good night. This is the second time this week she has been having issues. She is having bad dreams, or getting sick, or something. Whatever it is, it's making her super upset. Which makes me upset. I don't like my baby girl hurting. And not knowing what it is all about sucks. 

#357

I was reluctant to make the whole turkey dinner. I was going to boycott it all. But then I decided to go for it. And in the last 24 hours I have had fun planning my meal!

I have found a couple recipes, mainly for desserts. And I am so torn! I want to make these yummy treats. But I don't want to go crazy overboard with the sweets. So maybe I will just make 2?! 

I made pumpkin chocolate chip cookies tonight. Well, I made the dough and put most of it in the fridge, as I usually do. But I baked a couple testers. And Ohmygoodness it is a good thing I didn't bake the whole batch. They are good! 

The girls were super tired this morning. P had a rough night, so we were all feeling a little off. Which should have told me to stay home. But it is Monday, so we went to the library like we always do. And a couple little monsters did t want to act like they were supposed to. So instead of running the couple errands I needed to, I accepted defeat and went home. Thankfully it was nothing time sensitive. 

We got to visit with our friends for a few short minutes, and shortly after lunch the tired ones took a nap. A lovely, much needed, long nap. 

They woke up as my happy little girlies and we had a great afternoon. All day today they insisted on wearing their new dress up princess costumes. Princess Aurora and Rapunzel. They looked absolutely adorable and had fun. We watched How to Train Your Dragon, and Gnomeo and Juliet which are quickly becoming major favorites. We read books. 

They are so much fun. And thankfully J got to spend a little time with them and read their new library books. And I have enjoyed my new library book!

#356

This weekend has been fun. 

This morning, we went to Mass. The girls love to go to church and do really great sitting still and being quiet. They aren't perfect, don't read it that way! But they do a great job for 3 year olds. And they are picking up on a lot of stuff. Father is talking about Jesus. We sing Alleluia. And we put money in the basket. 

I forgot to mention this yesterday. When the girls were opening their presents, they got money from a couple people. And when they saw the money, they both yelled "money for church!" it was awesome! Definitely one of those moments where I feel like I am doing something right. And continuing on the right-ness, we are taking the chicks to Toys R Us this week so they can buy whatever they want with their money. 

Back to today! After Mass, we had lunch and visited with my Ma. Then we left to go to a birthday party and Ma headed home to MO. It is supposed to snow there tomorrow, so we had a super short visit. But the girls loved having her here for their party. and I loves having my mommy for a little while.

The party we went to was for my friend's youngest boys first birthday. They were at P and Ks party on Saturday! So we had a fun birthday weekend with the P family! And the girls loved watching little J get the attention they got yesterday. And who doesn't love cake two days in a row?!

We also decided to celebrate Thanksgiving with the P family. We discovered we had both planned on cooking the whole meal for our little families. Well, honestly i was considering boycotting the whole day. The thought of having a repeat of last year was not a good thought. But we are going to celebrate together instead. fun! After the girls went to bed, I went to the store and got everything I needed for the big meal. Well, almost everything. I will have to go for the commissary and hope they have the one thing I still need. 

 You know, I have to say, there is something so great about your mom telling you that you are doing a good job. We are never too old for some parental pride. Ma saying I am a good homemaker and mommy really makes my heart happy. 

Good weekend. 

#355

We had so much fun today. Two families of our friends came over this afternoon for a fun birthday hangout. Nothing fancy or hyper-planned, just friends playing and eating cake. 

This morning I woke up and made the girls' cake, yummy bagels and French bread. They loved watching all the preparation, because it meant their friends would be coming to play. 

And when their friends arrived, fun was had by all! They were crazy running through the house and yelling, like kids are supposed to do. We sang happy birthday and ate a pink and purple cake. 

Because we were having fun, J and I totally forgot about opening presents! One of the kiddos reminded us, and we had even more fun opening all the new goodies. Thankfully, my girls are super awesome and they let their friends help them unwrap their gifts. Which means they probably have no idea what was given to them. But everyone had fun. 

Oh, and we made tie dye shirts! All the kids got to make one and take it home. Tomorrow we will see how they turned out- hopefully they look good!

After everyone left, we watched one of their new movies while we took a couple breaths to relax. As soon as the movie was over, we explored some new toys. A fun radio and a new cd. An Oakland A's ball and bat that we all had fun playing baseball in the girls room with. Dress up clothes. A new dragon. 

It was so fun to watch the girls. They have changed so much in the last year. Our lives have changed so much in the last year. And through it all, P and K have been amazing. 

#354

Today you get to listen to my sappiness regarding my baby girls. 

On Tuesday, November 18, 2008, I woke up at 4 am with crazy contractions that were two minutes apart. The day before I had contractions all day, but I didn't want to go to the hospital- I had things to do. But that Tuesday, there was no avoiding the dr. Instead of waking up my husband to take me to the hospital, I took a bath. 

Finally, J woke up and demanded I go to the hospital. I grumbled and contracted and packed a bag. We headed to the hospital thirty minutes away. When we arrived, I was hooked up to monitors, given an iv (after too many failed attempts!) and examined. We waited. I contracted. We laughed. I contracted. 

They took me back to the operating room, numbed me up, and delivered my beautiful P and K. 

Three years ago, I was blessed with two angels. They were completely healthy and perfect in every way. From the first time I held them, they captured my heart. 

How could I ever explain to anyone what my daughters mean to me? How could I put in to words the awe I feel when I am around them? Knowing that my husband and I made these little beings and are trusted with their care still amazes me. 

Today, we woke up and celebrated their third birthday. We took cookies to our friends, had heart pancakes for dinner, and just had a good day. They love saying they are three. And we cannot wait for their party tomorrow. To add to the fun, my Ma got here right before bedtime. So fun!

#353

If you were wondering, dropping your husband's body armor plate on your toe is not a good idea. Not even close! My poor toe is swollen, missing some skin, and throbbing. Yay for me! 

This morning I had planned to go to the store to get everything for the girls party. But it was so cold! I just couldn't make myself get us all dressed and out the door. So we stayed home, the chicks played and I cleaned. It was a good day. 

I am very thankful for our house, especially our heater. But. The back of our house, meaning our bedrooms, are freezing!  The living room and kitchen are so much warmer than our rooms. Which means, going to bed I have to prepare myself for a freeze. And when I wake up in the morning I have no desire to get out of my warm blankets! I want my bedroom and my daughters bedroom to be warmer!

My favorite part of today was definitely listening to my chicks read. They love books, and we read all the time. They really pay attention to the stories, which I know because they 'read' to each other. They remember parts of the story and the tone of voice I use for that part. It is pretty fun to listen to the mumble mumble random words 'Help! I'm stuck!' mumble mumble. 

Tomorrow, they will wake up as three year olds. Three! How does that happen? 

#352

My family has been calling me Bear my whole life. There are a couple different stories about how I was given this name. But the stories and their differences didn't stop people from calling me Bear. they still call me Bear. And I love it. 

If you were called Monkey for 25 years, you would probably love monkeys and feel a bit of a connection to the animals. I have always loved bears- Polar and Grizzly were always my favorites. And I am told that I have some 'bear tendencies'. Lately, the habit showing itself the most is my immense desire to hibernate!

Every winter, for as long as I can remember, I just get tired. I am ready for bed at 6pm and dread waking up, even after a good night's sleep. I know, the early darkness and cold combined make most people tired. But if you ask my family, I am so tired because my bear self feels the need to hibernate. 

I did fight the sleepiness long enough to go to MOPS this morning. It was fun. We were supposed to learn about couponing, which I am so not good at. But, I haven't taken the time to try. Probably because it's not often you see coupons for the things I most often buy. Fruits and veggies make up probably half of my grocery bill for the month. We do not eat a lot of processed foods, which is what I see a lot of coupons for. So I was interested to ask the speaker about this. However, the speaker talked about retirements and investments instead. And I could hardly hear her. So my questions went unasked. 

If you have tips for me, please send them my way!

Other than that, life continues as normal at the B casa. J is still undecided on his next career step. I am preparing for the girls' party. And the almost 3 year old princesses are fighting the routine we have loved for a couple years. Bedtime isn't the peaceful time it used to be. And M could still use your prayers. This week will be a long one spent waiting for answers. 

#351

Between P's bossiness and K's 'insubordination' I live in a crazy house! P thinks she should be the boss of everyone. And K doesn't think she should have to listen to her sis, so she is rebelling by hitting. So me losing my mind is a real possibility. Love watching them play though!

Last night I fell asleep to rain. And woke up to rain. And watching the rain fall all day. Which made grocery shopping so not fun. I was soaked by the time I got home and got the kids and groceries inside. 

I am thinking about writing a '30 things to do before 30' list. In a couple weeks I will be 25, so I would have 5 years to complete my list. And maybe it would give me a  shove. But I wouldn't know where to start. 

Clearly, I have nothing to say today. The glorious life of me- grocery shopping, crocheting, watching Tangled for the 9,462,875th time. So I cooked dinner while singing 'I got a dream', which was fun. But it was even better when J got home and joined in. 

I used to think a tough guy with an attitude was sexy. Now, a man singing a Disney song with his daughters really does it for me. It is pretty great how life works. 

#350

This morning, J took the girls for a walk to the park to play and blow bubbles. I was told they had fun until the walk home. From the second they walked through the door, they were whiny and grumpy. But I was told they had fun!

I stayed home and did something about the disaster of my house. I have a rule that I generally don't clean on the weekends. That is my chill time and family time. J gets the weekends off, so I do to. Which means, most weekends our house looks like a tornado came through after a Frat party. But when the husband and chicks came home, the casa looked, mostly, clean. It was kind of nice to clean up without little monsters UNcleaning. 

My blanket that I am crocheting is looking pretty good. Just ask me! Well, really it looks like a stack of squares at this point. But, the squares look good individually! I have made green and blue pieces. And this morning I made a couple purple and pink squares to make sure I liked the colors. And I do! it will be fun to have a blanket that uses all of our favorite colors. P and K thought it was great that their colors were being used. 

On a not so great note, my bestest friend could use your prayers. Her awesome youngest son has some issues with his foot, and the doctors aren't quite sure what is going on. We are waiting on a second opinion. So please keep them in your prayers- that things are ok, and that M isn't too stressed until everything is figured out. I did discover that the patron saints of foot troubles are St Servatus and St Peter the Apostle. Who knew?!

#349

Approximately 21 days out of the month, I love being a female. I have great boobs, I get to sit down and take a 45 second break when my bladder demands, and I have the ability to find most objects I am looking for without yelling "Hunny!" life is, mostly, dandy as a chick.

But then you have the other 10 days. They are not pleasant for me. And it seems that these dreaded days are getting worse every month. Not fun! 10 out of 31 really isn't too bad though, and it beats the alternative!

Besides the achy back, today was fun. The crew went to the Nashville Zoo! It was free today for military, so we paid a grand total of $5 for parking. We saw fun animals and lazy animals, and overall the girls loved it. K's favorite were the monkeys. One little guy was super entertaining, swinging and climbing. P's favorite were the meerkats, and we got to see them being fed. Who knew they ate worms?! Not me! My favorite was probably the walk to the car! I am not a big fan of zoos in general. And what is the point of going to a zoo if you aren't going to see bears? But really, it was fun. The girls loved it, so J and I did as well.

I also went to the store and got a couple pairs of pants this evening. Nothing special, just the first two I tried on. My fav jeans ripped a couple weeks ago, and my other fav pair will probably completely rip the next time I put them on! I think it has been 2 years since I bought a new pair. Long overdue! Shopping just isn't fun for me, so I put it off way to long. But alles gut, I have pants that I don't have to worry about moving in.

#348

Today, I crocheted. A lot. Go me! It has been fun and productive. But my eyes are killing me! And thanks to YouTube and some awesome blogs, I have fun stuff. 

The girls were crazy this evening. Running wild, imagining all kinds of fun things, making messes. They were having so much fun they didn't want to go to sleep. So two hours after their bedtime they were still laughing and playing. Oh my. 

...I'm sorry, my mind is having too much trouble concentrating. I am mad and upset and...just MAD. My family is not perfect, I know that. But one thing we are superbly awesome at is loving. And we are freaking fantastic at having each others backs. I cannot stand people that screw with others people's lives. When those people you screw with are my family members, I get livid. 

This is me, livid. 

#347

I say it often, but I am going to say it again. I am a lucky girl. 

I am blessed to be surrounded by people that have sworn to protect our country and everything we stand for. Every day, I am reminded of the sacrifices that so few make so I can live the life I have. These veterans are my husband, neighbors, and friends. My family. 

This day is such a great day. We have Memorial Day, to remember the men and women that gave their lives for our nation. It is somber and thought provoking. But today is a day to appreciate the men and women who have served our country. It is not a day of remembrance, but a day of thanks. Because there is so much to be thankful for. 

Ranger Up, a company that I love, has a new shirt. It highlights the low percentage of Americans that are serving. On the back of the shirt it says "Never in the field of human conflict was so much owed by so many to so few." I love it. And today, I kept thinking about it. We, meaning everyone in this country who has not worn the uniform, owe so much to the selfless service of others. 

There are times when I complain about being married to a soldier. Sometimes I want to escape this lifestyle. The Army is so all consuming, and that can be trying. But I am not the one that wakes up every morning, puts on the uniform of a hero, and does what he is ordered to do. 

Because of the men and women of the armed services, Americans live a life of safety and freedom. We owe it to these people to live a life that brings honor to the country they are protecting. 

Happy Veterans day. 

#346

Today was a bit of an off day. 

My house is clean. I got some organizing taken care of. And the massive laundry pile, made massive because I decided to wash all the sheets this morning, is all clean AND put away. My washer was leaking, not flooded oh my goodness leaking, but enough to be a pain in the ass. 

The girls were exhausted by lunchtime. But do you think they took a nap? Nope! So by dinnertime they were quite cranky. P had a major owie, which looks horrible, which led to a little bit of a fit, which was no fun. K has had some issues the last few days, which upset her.

 Ugh. It was A trying afternoon. 

But J made dinner. Nice! After the chicks calmed down, I got some great cuddle time. And I got to watch Bones, which makes me happy. Oh, and I got about five minutes of fun writing time. Yay 

I am seriously looking forward to sleeping in tomorrow. One of my favorite things about four day weekends- my early bird husband let's me be lazy. 

#345

Not gonna lie, I am so proud of myself! Every night, I get closer and closer to reaching my goal of 365 straight days of blogging. I know it is not really a big deal, but to me it is. Go me!

This morning, I got to enjoy my awesome life. After the chickies ate breakfast, they sat down with their friend Elmo. And while they were learning about the letter S and the number 7, I was in the kitchen making bread.

I love that I am able to make stuff for my family. I have the ability to follow a recipe, yes. But I have the time to make something yummy and full of love, instead of buying packaged stuff. I have a beautiful family that enjoys the stuff that I make. Especially J- that man loves bread!

I also made sugar cookies, with fun frosting and sprinkles, banana 'catapillers' 'ants on a log' aka celery with pb and raisens, and hot dogs wrapped in croissants. It wasn't all for the three of us. Our friends came over to hang and play. It was fun! I loved making the fun stuff, and the kids loved eating it all. Though I don't think they got the bug connection.

Today was just a good day. One of those days that I get to enjoy my awesome girls. Being a mom and wife, a cook and a housemaid. Because I really do love it. If I had been anywhere else today, I wouldn't have been able to kiss K's forehead when she banged it up for the millionth time. And I wouldn't have been there to hear P's story about the Super Monster Cloud. And I wouldn't have had the time to make something for my husband, that he loves so much.

#344

Today definitely goes in the 'Best intentions' pile.

I had planned to mop my floors, go to the post office, bake cookies, and do some fun writing.

Instead, I watched tv, read with my girls, did laundry, nagged the girls to clean their room, and cleaned bathrooms. Not a noteworthy day. But a mostly good day.


And that is all I have to say tonight, ladies and gentlemen. Really. I have sat here for 15 minutes, thinking up something to say so I didn't feel like this was a waste of time. But, I got nothing. Sorry.

#343

This whole time change has severely screwed up my sleep. I am tired and a little crabby. And crampy, but that is besides the point. The girls woke up way too early this morning, and because the sun was already up, I had issues getting back to sleep.

Like I said, tired and cranky.

But we got good news this afternoon. Great news! This summer, J (and I- it was a team effort) started the process for a top secret security clearance. He is hoping to change his jobby job, and a few that he looked in to required he be able to handle sneaky secret stuff. So, we filled out forms with way too much information. Spilled out everything to complete strangers, and had friends do the same on our behalf. it was frustrating and uncomfortable. But so worth it in the end!

Because tonight, my husband came home and told me he got it! Now, he can go over his options and decide the best course of action for his happiness and our family. i am so happy for him, and so glad that our efforts were not in vain. And I cannot wait to find out what our next adventure will be.

... This evening I read an article about Magic Johnson. He announced his HIV status twenty years ago. And he is still alive and quite healthy. Part of me looks at him as a great example and inspiration. He is like a ray of hope to all those people living with HIV. But another, selfish part of me looks at him and wants to scream 'it's not fair'. 19 years ago, my aunt died. She wasted away to nothing because HIV/AIDS attacked her with a vengence not shown to the famous athlete. why is it that he is still the picture of health? But for my family, in a few weeks we will remember the horrible day that we lost a daughter, sister, mother, aunt, and friend.

#342

For a while now, I have been having a (mostly) internal debate regarding vaccinations. Should we continue to follow the recommended schedule? Or, should we opt out of the chemicals and possible side effects? This is me, continuing my debate- with myself. 

The girls will be three in a couple weeks. We will schedule a check up, which might include shots. And there is a part of my brain that just doesn't feel comfortable with that. So J and I are discussing opting out. 

Did you know, the average American will receive 35 vaccines in their first 6 years. My parents generation received less than a third of that. Please explain to me how children are in any more danger now than they were 40 years ago. Think about it. What has changed? Besides the dependence on major pharmaceuticals- but that is something to get in to later...

And why is it necessary to vaccinate a baby or toddler against a disease that is contracted through tattoos, sexual contact, or direct blood contact. Hepatitis B can, and often is, administered at birth. Then there are a trillion boosters. Why??

When these diseases were prevalent, the vaccines were accepted at face value. They would keep you healthy. But now, with the disease itself no longer a terror, it is natural to question the vaccine itself. 

Why are we willing to inject mercury and formaldehyde into our precious babies? Not to mention the virus itself. When I was pregnant, I was constantly being reminded to stay away from high mercury foods. Then, when my daughters were infants, a nurse injected them with the scary evil mercury. How does that make sense?

I do understand the 'herd vaccination' ideal. But. If your child is vaccinated, why does my child not being vaccinated worry you? Do you not trust the vaccine? If your child has all their shot to protect them, how is an unvaccinated child a 'threat'? 

But... What if we decide to decline the shots. And our daughters contract something that could have been prevented. As an everyday citizen, I have no problem with people developing natural immunities. I think that is great. But as a mommy that wants to protect her babies at all costs, I don't want them to suffer in any way. 

As I said, to this point our girls have stuck to the schedule. Except for the chickenpox vaccine, which they did not get. When my little girls were born, I didn't see a reason to not give them something that could save their lives. And no one ever gave me the feeling that not vaccinating was a choice. 

But in the last year, I have started to scratch the surface on this debate. Late, I know. But here I am, trying to figure out where I stand on it all. 

Thoughts?

#341

Ok, last month of this blog is turning out to be the hardest! I feel like I have officially run out of things to say. 

Except... On my way to the store this afternoon, I passed a car in my neighborhood that totally had me braking. Did it really say what I think? "I gave up sex for your freedom. Now it's your turn." Yep, it said that. On the back window of an SUV. Really. Way to keep it classy, guys. 

Don't get me wrong, I understand the sentiment. J was deployed when I was 19-21 and he was 22-23. But writing that on your SUV? And driving around so other people can read it?! I couldn't help but imagine the awkwardness of being stopped at a red light, with a priest in the car next to them. "You really want to complain about giving up sex for a year? Really?" Yep, it was a fun scene in my head!

I really think that was the most noteworthy part of my day. Well, that and an idea I had while showering. All the great ideas start in the shower, right? Maybe more on that later. Maybe. 

Other than that- I read, watched cartoons, crocheted, watched football, did some shopping, danced with my girlies, read... I should invest in an exciting life. 

#340

I know I should be crocheting. My yarn is sitting here, my hook is on my chest. My blanket is still in pieces. I she be crocheting. 

But I am tired! I think it should be bedtime. But the guilt of not accomplishing what I had planned!

This morning, at MCCW, I felt the same way I have every week. I do not like the unorganized. I do not like the way some people project theirselves. I do not like feeling like my morning was wasted. But... I keep going because I hope every week will be better. I enjoy talking to my friends there. My daughters have fun. And maybe one day we will actually study something religion related!

But I had fun with A. It's nice to talk to like minded chicks, to laugh at crazy stuff. And our kids have fun playing. So that was fun. 

And watching The Little Mermaid with my chicks this afternoon was fun. That is one of my all time favorite movies. I grew up wishing I had a fin and flowing red hair. P and K think it is pretty great. It is so cool to see them enjoy something that I enjoyed. 

And my husband... That guy, who has been almost completely absent, is still not home. Every night this week he has been working late. But tonight takes the cake: 10:15 pm and still not home. Poor guy. He has been at work almost every waking hour this week. And he is still sore from his little snippy. Hopefully he gets home soon. 

#339

For the month of November, a ton of people are doing the whole 'Days of Thanks' thing. Which I think is a cool idea, if you don't mind reading sappiness all over Facebook! And since I don't want to subject the FB community with my sappiness, I am going to do it here, and all at once. Consider yourself warned!

I am thankful for:
1. K waking up in a crazy awesome mood after naps. She hops up and immediately starts chatting. 
2. P and her new goofy face. 
3. Sweatpants and hoodies
4. High school drama tv shows. They make me laugh. 
5. Mac and cheese for dinner. Yum. 
6. A husband who loves me, even when I wear sweats. 
7. Friends that are scattered throughout the globe but still so close. 
8. Good books
9. My coo-coo clock, that constantly reminds me of a great day in the Black Forest. 
10. J's sacrifices. He gives so much to the Army, not because it is his job but because he is just that kind of guy. 
11. Halloween candy. 
12. Ozzy, even though he has developed an eating disorder/addiction to crayons
13. Max, my personal foot warmer. 
14. The season premiere of Bones! Yay!
15. Scentsy warmers and Fall scents. 
16. Finding a couple of lost cd's. SRV, you rocked man. 
17. I get to plan a fun birthday party for my girls. 
18. We have friends to enjoy the fun birthday party with. 
19. The Holy Trinity. There is no way I could get through this crazy life without a lotta help. 
20. my husband working to provide for our family so I can stay home and nurture our family. 
21. The Army. Without the Army, J and I would not have met, or live the life we do. 
22. Texting, because sometimes that is all my crazy family has time for. 
23. Piles of yarn, waiting for me and my green crochet hook. 
24. Private jokes that have made me laugh for years. Beep!
25. Living in a country where I am free to speak my mind without fear. And free to ignore the crap other people say!
26. That crazy song that is stuck in my head, because it means I could hear it. And it makes me giggle. 
27. A warm home. 
28. The trials I have faced. Suffering makes the good stuff so much better. 
29. Almost forgotten memories that come back to me. 
30. My life, my husband, my daughters, my faith, family and country. All the good and bad and crazy that I have been blessed to experience. And all the love that has been shown to me. 

I am a lucky girl. 

#338

Today was another day in my oh so exciting life. MOPS, pb&honey sandwiches, naptime battles and goodnight kisses. 

At MOPS, I was reminded of how amazing my daughters are. I was talking to a chick that has a 3 year old daughter and 8 month old twins. I have always said that twins are awesome, and nowhere near as impossible as people assume. But maybe I was wrong! Maybe my girls are just too amazing for words, and other mommies of twins don't have the blessing we have. 

They really are so great. And we had it so easy when they were babies. Now, they are just as great as even. Sure, I wanted to pull my hair out a couple times today. But I would not trade my daughters for the world. 

I also got to talk to my dad about football. Yay for football! But he was telling me about the protests in Oakland. I guess it is getting pretty crazy there. All that Occupy stuff, with crazy angry people thrown in. And it pisses me off. But the really crappy thing is trying to talk to my dad about it. We definitely see things different on this. Understandable, because of his life. But I cannot get around the fact that there are a ton of people that are crying about their bad breaks in life- and they are a whole lot better off than people that have busted their asses for their whole lives. That is what pisses me off. 

I am kind of tired of the politics. All the crap and lies. People crying that they deserve more from the government. People demanding things they do not deserve. Fingerprinting and name calling. 

How about we all just stop. Stop with the drama. If you want something, earn it. And if someone has earned something, let them have it. 

#337

I am irritated at myself right now. Ugh. As I was working on tonight's post, I somehow, with my powers of idiocy, deleted everything I had written. Seriously!

So, to recap what I had written. The girls were exhausted. K was so cranky because she was tired. She also gave herself yet another knot on her forehead. P had a hard day too. We might have possibly scarred her for life- as is our job as her parents. She is s massive hair twirler, and as a result she has uneven hair. After warning her for over a year, we cut her hair today.

Not a massive hair cut. We just evened out the back, which means we cut about 3 inches off of one side. For a little blonde haired girl who loves Rapunzel, a haircut is the end of the world. K was equally upset about her sister's cut. It was drama, hilarious drama.

And that is the short version of the days highlights. We took it easy, watched Sesame Street and played and relaxed. It was nice. Scrambled eggs for lunch and leftovers for dinner. My kind of taking it easy.

My body was having a lazy day, but my mind was not. For some reason I kept thinking weird thoughts, a lot of which were not fun. Made me feel sad and irritated and hopeful and lonely. It was exhausting.

#336

Samhain was the Celtic feast of the new year. It signaled the end of the harvest and the start of winter. Sundown on October 31st was the start of this feast. On this night, the boundary between the worlds was believed to get a little fuzzy. 

Over the years, this feast day transformed into what we know today, with help from Catholics, Americans, and who knows what else. 

Pumpkin carving evolved from carving turnips into lanterns to light the way for souls. Masks were worn to hide your true identity from ill spirits. Catholic children would knock on your door and offer to pray for the souls of your loved ones; in return they were given sweets. 

This holiday was not about devil worship or anything remotely bad. It was originally about thanking the gods for a good crop, praying for a calm winter, taking a break from the harsh life, and honoring the world as it was. 

And what is wrong with having a night to pretend?! 

My girls had a blast dressing up as princesses and getting candy and compliments. This was their first real trick or treating experience. Their first 2 halloweens were in Germany and we went to parties instead of going door to door. And on their first time, they did great and has a blast. They got scared a couple times near the beginning of the night. But after reassurances from Mommy and each other that it was all pretend, they loved it all. It was clear to me how young they are, because once their buckets started to get heavy they asked to go home. Rookies!

Once we for home they were too excited to tell Daddy about everything they did and saw. They ate a couple pieces of candy. And were asleep as soon as we turned off their light! J was a little sad he wasn't able to go, but after his first day back to work and some aches, he stayed home to recuperate. 

It was a great day. I am so happy the girls had fun. They were the prettiest and nicest princesses in the neighborhood. 

#335

I am bummed with myself. I was planning to write about Halloween and it's roots in Samhain. Super fun Celtic history. But the girls last few hours of awake time were frustrating. So after their bedtime, I zoned out and read about James Garfield. 

Tomorrow. Then is when you will get a great history lesson. 

But, while we are talking about history. I told J earlier that I want to go back to school. Because I am a nerd and love to learn. And because I had always assumed that I would go to college and get a degree. And I am still having trouble giving up that dream. 

I would love to study history. American history. To learn as much as possible about my country's beginnings. But what would I do with that. Teach? I am not a good teacher. And I do not want to work and have someone else watch my daughters. 

So why go back to school? For a piece of paper? I could go to the library and bookstore and educate myself on the things I want to learn. And when my daughters are in school, I can get a lowly time filler job that allows me to be there for them. 

The thought of college still tempts me though. 

But I read my book about our 20th president and enjoyed it. Immensely. This guy was a crazy awesome guy. He didn't have high political aspirations, and actually was mad about his nomination to presidency. But he had grace and accepted what was asked of him. 

About political aspirations,  he said he would not promote himself and petition for a higher position. He also said he would not commit to another man and his ideals. His approach to running for office was such an amazing contrast to the things we see today. 

Oh, to be alive in a time when men leading our country had integrity! 

#334

Last night, I was freezing. I was so cold I made Ozzy go to bed with me and made him lay under the covers! Yep, I did. And I am not a fan of him in my bed. I have been in a mild stage of freezing my ass off for a few days now. Though I am not sure why. It's not like my heater doesn't work. 

Because I wanted to be lazy and lay on the couch with a blanket today, that is about what we did. The girls had fun playing and running around the house like fools. J did a lot of nothing. He is doing really well but has some pain. 

This evening the girls and I went to Mass. I am not really a fan of Saturday evening Masses. If I go on Saturday, I am probably not going to go on Sunday. But if I don't go on Sunday, I feel weird. Oh, the conundrums! 

We went though, to support MCCW. We were supposed to help out with the service and have food and such for afterwards. But, due to some poor planning, that didn't really happen. So instead, we showed up to Mass, which is always a beautiful thing. Afterwards, we had a little something to eat and went home. There really wasn't much of an MCCW push or anything like that. 

Tonight, after Crazy and Crazy went to bed, I started reading a new book. "Destiny of the Republic" about President Garfield. So far, I like it. But it totally points out my horrible education. 

I know next to nothing about my presidents. Which is sad. Come on, our country has been around for little over two hundred years and has had  44 presidents. That is not an insane amount of people to educate our children about. Maybe if we teach our children more about our country, pride in our country would be more prevalent. Just a thought. 

#333

Oh. 333. Does that mean something?? Eh, who cares!

Some days, I realize how old I am. Like today. It is Friday night, I have been in my sweats since 6:30 and fighting sleep since 8. Yep, no life. 

But I am totally ok with that. 

This morning, J had a little snippety operation. He is doing good, thanks to the drugs and frozen peas! So he is taking it easy. You know, falling asleep in the middle of reading 'Green Eggs and Ham' and not moving. 

While he was doing his thing, the chicks and I were at MCCW. Which I am so torn about. I really like the ladies there. Well, most of them! I love having the opportunity to talk with like minded ladies while my daughters are playing with kids. But I do not like the fact that we have been meeting since the beginning of September and today was the first time we talked about our book. And we only talked about it for like 20 minutes! If that! 

It drives me crazy. If we are going to study and such, then let's freaking study. If we are going to... Wow, I have no idea what we do. Talk? Not really, because there is always a feeling of needing to do something else. Listen to different priests talk? Even though there are a few that are crazy hard to understand. I have no idea. I am just a little perturbed. 

Oh, I went to the grocery store this afternoon. Big mistake! I was starving. I think I bought a ton of crap, but I am scared to actually look in my kitchen! Mmm orange soda. And candy corn. Spiced cider- the fake powdery kind! Yeah, it was a junky, chemical filled shopping cart. That I will indulge in tomorrow!

#332

Sometimes I think I should make my daughters shirts that say "my mom doesn't beat me." Tomorrow K might need that shirt. Who is surprised? K fell out of bed a little bit ago. She has a nasty bruise on her chin and her chin and lips are swollen. Tomorrow will be fun!

Today was great. This morning the chicks and I chilled on the couch with the Jungle Book. Gotta love the Bear Necessities. Then we had friends over and we had a blast. I am super digging having great people to hang with. 

This evening I watched Good Will Hunting. I freaking love that movie. I have seen it way too many times, and cannot really say what it is about the story that made me fall in love with it when I was about 14. But fall I did, my friends. It is a killer movie, and as an added bonus it has great lines to quote. I want to tear someone up, then say 'you're up, Chief.' Just to say it! Ah!

I talked to my best friend, twice today. For about five seconds total! She is crazy busy, and possibly Superwoman. But I love her, superpowers and all. And I super wish I could be with her in that crazy lone star state.  

#331

If our Founding Fathers could see America now, what would they say?

This whole Occupy crap is annoying me. Granted, I do not know exactly what their deal is. I am not going take the time to research their platform or ideals. But, from the crap I see on the news, it sounds stupid to me. Please, educate me if I am wrong. 

But really, you want to complain to me about your debt? No one made you take out a loan for an overpriced education. When I graduated high school, I had the brains to attend college; I lacked the funds to attend college. I did not want to owe thousands of dollars when I was 22, so I sidestepped that dream. You made the choice to take out a loan. Don't blame the world for your mistake. 

You have a problem with people that have insane amounts of money? Too bad! Honest hard work, a rich granddaddy, or sheer dumb luck- it doesn't matter hoe they got it, the money is theirs. They do not owe you a handout. Hell, they already pay more in US taxes than you will ever earn. They shouldn't have to pay for your lack of financial planning. 

The world owes you nothing. Yeah, our economy is in the gutter. Yes, the job market sucks. But living in a tent in a public area, using the government's electricity and water, doesn't accomplish much. You want to see changes?

"Be the change you wish to see in the world."

Or join the military. College assistance, steady paycheck, and the chance to actually make a difference. Plus, a haircut. 

Boom. Problem solved. 

What do I know about the world and it's troubles? I am just a housewife, right? Yep, I am. Just a housewife, with no higher education. But I kind of make it a habit to not walk through life with blinders. I read a lot to educate myself. I am not some amazing studied person. But I am not the village idiot, either. 

P.S. I had a really good day hanging with A. She rocks. The chicks had a blast hanging with friends. So much fun that they didn't want to take a nap and were so cranky we put them to bed a half hour early. But it was still a good day. 

#330

Today was a good day. Great morning, grocery shopping, sunshine, awesome nap, folded laundry, yummy dinner... Let's stop there!

I have been making bread for years. Sometimes it is ok, sometimes it is good. Tonight it was fantabulous. Really, if I could live in that loaf of French bread, I would! Yummy. 

After we ate dinner, J told me "thank you for the bread, it was really good." Yep, he thanked mender the bread, not for dinner. I did cook a good dinner. But in the B house, bread makes us happy. And tonight's bread made us very happy!

I am laughing at myself now. Right now, I am watching a documentary about food and juicing and how horrible our eating habits are. Which is so very true- we all need to stop eating crap. And I am working on that. 

But damn, my bread was good!

#329

For the first time in years, I broke out my massage table. J was excited! I was just hoping I remembered half of the stuff I knew. 

I am not sure what made me want to try out an old trick. But the last few days I had been thinking about it. Like I said, it has been years. And it went pretty good. 

I am rusty, that's for sure. I have forgotten a few things. I didn't have the strength I used to have. And my full body massage didn't take as much time as it should have! I definitely need more practice. 

Overall, though, it felt good. I didn't feel tired or awkward or completely incompetent. Just rusty. So I am going to try to change that- just for my own satisfaction. 

The girls had a blast at the library. Of course. Our walk was fun, and playing in the leaves in our backyard was great. It was a good day. The girls were fun. 

Oh man, their facial expressions and vocabulary amaze me! They are too smart, I tell you. 

#328

I had a good weekend. Which is saying a lot. 

My week was crazy. Almost three year old girls that have their parents' stubbornness. A dad recovering from surgery that needs help I can only half give him. A husband that deserved way more attention and patience than he got. And me- having major issues with it all. 

Definitely not my finest hour. 

But Friday, I got to have a couple minutes with my husband that really helped me. I was feeling overwhelmed and lost in it all. And he reminded me that I am ok. 

So I felt better about it all. I took a deep breath and remembered that I have a damn good life. And I took the opportunity to enjoy it all. 

Another reason this weekend being so fun is surprising? We didn't really do anything. Which is normal and not exciting. But I do not like to do nothing. I like to get out of the house and go anywhere. J likes the exact opposite. So usually, we argue about plans and someone ends up grudgingly giving in. 

But this weekend, we stayed home. One fun short outing on Saturday. But today we stayed in and had a really good day. 

J is a rockstar when it comes to carving pumpkins. He is amazing. I am pretty good at roasting pumpkin seeds. Just ask me. 

We didn't make it to Mass this morning. But instead of feeling disappointment or guilt, I felt great. I felt the Love today. 

#327

I need a hobby. A real, hardcore, 'I rock at this' hobby. 

I was thinking about this earlier. When my girls are older and someone asks them what their mom likes, I don't want them to say something like "she cleans the house". I want them to think I do more than scrub the toilet. 

But more than that, I want something that I can feel proud of. Something that I can get so wrapped up in and love every minute of. Something that people see and immediately think "Holly does that". I want to find my thing. 

I can sew, and crochet, and write. And sarcasm, I am good at that. I can bake like a 1940s housewife. But I am not great at any of them. 

So I think I need a hobby. Ideas? J's great idea was that I should be a 'beer fetcher'. Note to self, don't ask him what I should do as he is finishing a beer. I love that guy!

Completely unrelated, but I have a weird jaundiced looking hand today. Really, my right hand is as yellow as a legal pad. That's not good, right?!

#326

In the middle of a crazy day, I had a great couple moments with my husband. 

My chicks were better today than they were yesterday. But they still had some whine to them. I was ready for their nap. What I wasn't ready for was my emotional dump.  

Thankfully I have an amazing husband that deals with my crap. He really is great and I totally lucked out. So even though I was dealing with some stuff, it was good to deal with it because my guy was there for me. 

And now I feel like I am getting sick. My head is all funky and heavy. My eyes are burning. I have a fever. I am freezing. And I am tired, so tired. 

#325

Today I sucked as a mom. Really really sucked. 

The morning started of like every other morning. Cheerful happy girls, ready to have fun and enjoy a great day. Fast forward a couple hours. I was in the kitchen making applesauce, P was watching me, K was sobbing in her room. I do not know why, but I know it continued for half an hour. Then P cried. Then they fought. Then they got hurt. We ate lunch. We played. 

They did not take a nap. Instead they took every toy they owned and spread the ridiculous amount of crap around their room. While I was on the phone with my dad, trying to get paperwork filled out for him. Because he is pretty much blind and can't do it. 

So when I was done with that, I dealt with my rebel daughters. After a time out, they were told to pick up their toys. Multiple times. So, I picked up all their toys. And put them in the closet. 

They have stuffed animals and books. I don't feel like they are neglected. I am a little sad that they didn't seem too upset about their toys being taken away- took away from the punishment factor. But it is great that they aren't super attached to 'stuff'. 

After that, their bad behavior continued. And my way of handling it deteriorated. I was just done with little girls that didn't want to listen. 

After dinner, though, we sat on the couch and read a trillion books. Library books that were new to us, that were fun and silly and colorful and left a ton to be filled in with our imaginations. My daughters love books. And after our not so great day, it was perfect to sit and love something together. 

I blew it, repeatedly, today. Instead of being calm and nice and patient, I was horrible and angry. If this is God trying to help me practice the virtues I need work on, then I am want to call a time out. Because another day like today and I will be buying a one way ticket to anywhere!

I love my girls to pieces. I do not like the girl I was today. Thankfully, my girls rock, and they love Mommy even when I suck. 

#324

Ow my head. I have been sitting on the couch, watching tv/crocheting. And when J told me he was going to bed, and I got up to join him, my head felt like it was going to split open. Seriously. 

Today was a good day. MOPS, which was fun for me and the chicks. Baking time: apple cake with caramel frosting. Yum. 

The girls didn't nap. And I was a bit irritated with things. My chicks not napping just stretched my frayed nerves. So, I think I will have to follow the blogger trend and make some 'quiet time' bags. I am going to go through their toys and books to find fillers for said bags. Make said bags. Implement quiet time. 

That is the plan. 

I also need to organize my closet. This morning I had to get my long sleeved shirts down. Which meant I jumped and grabbed- greatest method ever, right? Except for the mess I made. Now I have a crazy pile of clothes in my closet.  

Add that to tomorrow's to do list. 

Hmm. Maybe that is my problem. It is cold! Really really cold. And I am not a cold fan.

#323

I have been trying to untangle yarn for the last hour. I think my eyes are crossing! But it is all good- when I am done, I can continue to work on my new blankie. If the hubs wasn't snoring on my lap, I would have given up long ago. But I didn't want to move. 

Thankfully, today was so much better than yesterday. My chicks woke up happy and healthy. Well, mostly healthy. P has had a low grade fever on and off today. Who knows what that is all about. 

But yeah, we had a mostly good day. And because I didn't want to pull my hair out, I was able to make some yummy apple stuff. I canned some apple pie filling. J tried some on ice cream tonight and he said it was good. I also made a batch of applesauce with Golden Delish apples. Hopefully tomorrow I will make my pink applesauce. And then I will only have my Granny Smiths to deal with. They are my favorites to eat, yet I am having issues deciding what to do with them!

...I was thinking about the 'stay at home mom' thing today. I love it. Because my job description is different from my friend's, whose is different from her neighbor's, whose is different from my sister's... And every day is different. Honestly, today I had planned on relaxing in my pj's, playing with the girls, and cooking a little. On top of that, I went to the store and cleaned some. And froze because of the temp dropping 20 degrees in a few hours. 

No, my life isn't scheduled. No, I do not get dressed up every morning and go to an office. No, my every day life isn't really work. My every day life is fun. I play with stuffed animals and read books. I watch Sesame Street and bake. I try to lead by example. I hand out hugs and time outs.

Every day I get to teach my daughters a million things. 

The number one thing I teach them? There is nothing more important to me than my daughters. They are more valuable to me than anything in this world. And they are definitely worthy of my time. 

#322

Today was definitely not my finest hour.

Not. Even. Close.

The girls were having trouble listening. My dog didn't want to be quiet at the vet. And my nerves were shot.

Maybe the girls were acting up because of my mood. Maybe my mood was because the girls were acting up. It doesn't matter one bit shy my day was the way it was. It all boils down to a pretty bad day for me.

At the library, the girls loved story time. But as soon as that was over, they were crazy. So I honestly have no idea what books I got. Going to the post office was nice of me- MIL and awesome friends, you are welcome- but dealing with two monsters who refuses to stand still was not fun. One UPS store couldn't do what I needed, so of course I had to drive to the other store all the way across town.

Max's blood work came back normal. So we can continue to give him his meds. Yay. Because he didn't have any this weekend and it was obvious.

My head hurts. I am still irritated. My throat is getting a tickle. And I am not baking. Or cleaning.

#321

This morning I woke up with no desire to get dressed and attend Mass. I wanted to stay in bed or lay on the couch. Be lazy. 

But I got dressed. And decided to leave the girls at home. 15 minutes before I left, the girls said they wanted to go to Mass. How could I tell them they had to stay home?? So we threw some clothes on and ran out the door. It was a little crazy. But how cool that my girls chose to go to church instead of staying home?!

In the kitchen, I started some apple processing. Really just a couple tests. One loaf of apple bread, and a tiny batch of apple sauce. I wanted to make sure the recipes I had were tasty before I went overboard. The applesauce was yummy. and I will try the bread at breakfast tomorrow. Tomorrow I will make a big batch of sauce and/or pie filling to can. And possibly some more bread. It all smells so yummy!

After dinner, the B crew went for a walk. It was super nice. The sun had pretty much set, so we got to explore Dusk with a couple of chatty and curious little girls. It was definitely one of those moments that remind me how blessed I am. 

#320

Back in May, our first month here at Campbell, at the WIC office we met a little girl the same age as my girls. They had a blast playing. And I had a blast talking to her mommy. In the waiting room. 

Since then, we have been playing Facebook tag, trying to get together. Every time we try, something comes up. Until today. Today was that little girl's birthday party. And the kiddos all had a blast! I am so happy we were finally able to get together so the girls could play. And hopefully we can get together again. 

The only downside to this was my immense desire to smoke. There were quite a few smokers at the party. Oh goodness, I would love a cigarette right now. Five hours later, and I am still thinking I want one!

Before the party, we went to an orchard nearby. And got a ton of apples. There were apples that I haven't even heard  of, that I got just to try. But I will be baking yummy goodness tomorrow. So I am happy. 

The sucky thing about today was missing J's grandpa's surprise party. They were having a huge party for him, with pretty much the whole family. Sans the B crew. It super sucks for J that he missed it all. Back in Feb I missed my nana's big party, so I know the suckiness. And it sucks for my girls because they missed out an opportunity to meet their daddy's family. Just another day in the Army life, right?

Update on Dad: he is doing ok. Most of one big toe is gone, part of the other big toe is gone. Which, I bet, is hard to accept. As is being alone. But over all, he is doing ok. 

Update on my head: ugh. 

#319

Today is going in the win category. It was a close game. And I definitely didn't cover the spread. But it still goes down as a win. 

Last night my dad was admitted to the hospital for his foot. So this morning, really all day, I was I the phone with him. He found out early this morning that the podiatrist would be taking off most of his big toes. And when he got in there, he would find out how much of the for to take off. Which means, my dad was stressing all day. Can you blame him?

The end result ? I have no idea. He had the surgery. I called the nurse station to check on him, and they put me through to his room. He had just gotten out of surgery, and silly guy answered the phone. So I know he is ok, but that is the extent of the information I was able to pull out of him, 15 minutes post-op! 

Like I said, I was on the phone most of today. And most of the time that I was at MCCW I was trying to get info from dad, then passing that info on. So it wasn't a successful meeting for me. Except it kind of was. Because I have a couple ladies there that I really feel are friends. And even though we weren't able to really talk, I am glad I was able to see them. 

And this evening I had dinner with my friend J. I love our dates! We both wanted to try a German restaurant. Ugh. My schnitzel was not what I had hoped for. And either thru charges me wrong, or I paid way too much for a not great meal. The conversation was great though. Which makes me happy. Because I so needed a couple hours to take a deep breath. And it reminded me how awesome my friends are. 

Like I said. Win. Barely, but a win. 

#318

My dad is in the hospital. Again. 

He has diabetes and bad feet. I have been bullying him to go to the dr/ER for a week now. And tonight he finally went in. He has been admitted and we will know more later. Hopefully it isn't too bad. 

It all sucks to be too far away to do anything. Being in Kentucky  isn't that much different from being in Germany. I am still far away from my family without the money to fly to them. especially because it is my dad, and I know how much he hates the hospital. 

K has been super literal today. I told her 'Go ahead' and she told me Don't tell me that. This is my head (while pointing)." And when P and Daddy decided to take a pretend walk to the pretend park, K got upset because try weren't really going. She loves pretending- but today she needed people to mean exactly what try said!

P was the complete opposite. She loves pretending too, and today was not an exception. She was Rapunzel, Princess, and Teacher Suzy (from the PBS cartoon Sid the Science Kid). She went to the store a trillion times, and her 'baby girl' aka her bear, needed a few time outs. 

I love their minds. It is so awesome to see their imaginations and brains working. 

#317

Do you ever have a day where you know you accomplished a lot, but you feel like you didn't do much throughout the day? Today was like that for me. 

I ran my errands and got everything taken care of. Well, actually I didn't do two things, but I did things I had planned to do tomorrow. So it all evens out in the end. 

I cleaned my house. Cooked dinner. Had fun playing with my daughters. Made them each a hat, because they wanted one like Mommy's. Exercised. Watched a little tv. Read part of an ok book. 

I did things today. But I do not really have much to say about it all. It was just a day in my life. Fun and boring, productive and unimaginative. 

I did notice tonight that one thing I haven't been doing well lately is spending time with my husband. It is not like we have been super busy lately that we have had to push something to the back burner. We have just been... I don know. I guess we have just been slacking on making each other a priority. 

So, I am going to do just that. Or maybe I will settle for some cuddling because I think I hear him snoring. 

#316

Late night blogging. Not so fun! Especially when you has been awake for a very long time.

I believe P has entered the bad dream phase. Which, if she is like me, will last forever. At about 5:30 this morning, I woke up to my baby girl screaming. It terrified me. So I ran in there and held her while reassuring K that P was ok. Even after she calmed down, P still didn't want me to leave her. Poor baby. I don't like this.

But since I was up early, I tried a new bagel recipe. Everything bagels. J was excited to try them. Until he tried them. Too much salt, other than that they were good. That is what he said- I didn't try them. I just wasn't in the mood for a bagel. Which sucks since I had super crazy fresh bagels right in front of my face! Oh well, I'll try them tomorrow.

This afternoon, while P was napping and K was having issues listening, I looked up some crafty ideas online. Then I went digging in my crafty tote. And let me just say, that thing is scary! Pictures, cards, scissors, tape, paper, scissors, yarn, needles, fabric, more sharp pointy objects... You get my point.

So I found a little tutorial for crocheting a hat. Which I have never done before. Well, never successfully done. My crochet talents end with scarves, blankets. You know, simple quadrilaterals. But I have tons of skeins of yarn. And I love hats. So I attempted to make a hat. And it rocks! I love it. Its a total hippie/Bob Marley/I didn't want to do my hair hat. Awesome. J said he liked it, but I am pretty sure he lied.

Oh, and I raked leaves today. I am relatively sure that is the first time I have ever raked Fall leaves, in my whole life. weird, right? Maybe I have and just do not remember?? Who knows. It was nice to see the green grass emerge from the massive amount of dead leaves. And the chicks had a blast playing in the huge pile. So yeah for us!

#315

I need to have an eye exam. I need to take my car to the shop to get the brakes checked and the oil changed. I need to schedule the girls dentist appointment. I need to buy a birthday gift for the girls friend. I need to take books back to the library. I need to mail a few packages. 

I need to be thankful for at least five seconds before I feel overwhelmed. 

All the things I need to do are doable. I can run errands and make appointments and pay for services rendered. Not everyone can say that. Not everyone that is dear to me can say that. 

And it sucks. Sorry, no pretty words tonight. 

My dad's health is horrible. That is his business and I absolutely refuse to get in to that here. But he is my dad. And I love him. And it royally sucks to see him struggle.

 I feel useless. Which makes me mad. Which makes me determined. Which doesn't change the fact that I am lost and possibly  in way over my head. Which all means nothing because none of it is about me. 

I want to say more. But I cannot. This is me, filtering my thoughts. Filtering them from myself. 

And it sucks. 

Are you getting any of this? Or am I just jumbling feelings and words into a mess that sane people will never grasp?

#314

Yesterday was a bit of a cry baby day for me. Sorry about that. I just had a bad day, and the recurring pain recurred one too many times. It's frustrating.

Today was not a walk in the park either. There is the awesome thing I like to call my migraine hangover. The migraines drain my energy. My muscles ache. My stomach feels nasty. Like a hangover. Not pleasent.

But this afternoon my family went to the park.

It wasn't exactly fun for me physically. I wanted to go home, drink 50 gallons of water (because water will make it better?! I dont know!) and sleep for a few years. But I was so happy to be there. To see my girls playing at the elementary school playground with their dad. They had a blast. Climbing, sliding, falling.

Yeah, my little K.

Do you remember the metal slides? The twisty ones with steep stairs, the rivets showing and bumping your butt on the way down? The slides we knew as kids? They look horribly unsafe when your daughter is near one. What were our parents thinking?!

Well, my chicks love slides. So they were drawn to the unique slide on the grounds. On her third or fourth trip up the stairs, K tumbled off. It was one of those 'What bone is broken? How long will we be at the ER?" falls. But my chick is tough. With my DNA and J's DNA, they have to be tough. She has a scratch and bruise on her elbow. And that is all. She was asking to get back on the slide before she stopped crying.

I am not sure what is going on with P. One minute she is amazingly chipper and funny. The next she is whining because she wants a chair. And I mean whining. I am not sure what is going on.

#313

I feel like I am very quickly reaching the end of my rope.

My migraines seem to be getting crazy bad. I have not won the lottery, possibly because I don't play. But Money is still really tight. And when I am upset I just want to bake a cake or something. But that cost money and the blender hurts my head.

So. End of my metaphorical rope. Right here.

How much does it suck that my girls had to stay home on such a nice day? J played outside for a little bit. But I was on the couch almost all day, with the curtains closed. And I am to blame for at least part of it. My doctor gave me a new medicine to try. But I am scared to try it. Yep, tough Holly is scared of a little pill. Because I have been on that scary chemistry roller coaster before. It sucked. And I do not want to do it again.

So tomorrow I will be taking charge. One way or another. Because I am that stubborn. Step one is starting a crazy OCD journal about everything I eat, everywhere I go, how much sleep I get, everything. Hopefully, I can find things that have an effect on my pain. 13 years is too long to deal with this pain.

#312

"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing."

This quote is often attributed to Edmund Burke. However, there is no proof he actually said or write that. He said something comparing good and evil- he was an amazing smart man. 

Anyway, whoever said it first was right. I very firmly believe there is Evil in this world. And I know there are many times that I fail in doing the right thing. 

Tonight I was reminded of that is something that might sound so minor. But is important, so very important. A dear friend of mine shared an article about a judge deciding that people cannot drink milk from their own cows. 

I was really interested in reading the article. I feel that the way we eat is just horrid. And the way our government treats our food, and our health, is atrocious. 

But two paragraphs into the article and I could no longer keep my focus. And when I go shopping, I head to the local mega-grocers. I do not buy a lot of processed foods, but I get a couple things. And yes, I love my processed white sugar. 

This is really a problem, people. We think the stuff we are putting in to our bodies is food. It is not. And we so often fail to see the connection between what we put in our bodies and how our bodies behave. Too bad our doctors prescribe chemicals instead of treating the human body...

I know I am a huge hypocrite. I do not eat like I should. I do not feed my family like I should. But I am working on it. And I am trying to educate myself and my family on Healthy choices. Not just following a trend or doing what some article online told me to do. I really want to help my family be as healthy as we can. And that starts with what we put in to our bodies. 

Hippocrates said "Let food by thy medicine." How did we get so far from this way of thinking? And how can we get back?

#311

"Its simply worded assertions might strike cynics as posturing, a simplistic and chauvinistic relic of a time when Americans carried with them to war a conceit that they were stronger, better, and more virtuous than any enemy they would face."

John McCain said that about the Code of Conduct in his book. Upon reading it, my first thought was 'Well, we (Americans) are better than our enemies." which is, I am sure, the conceit that was mentioned. But that is exactly how I feel, and how any warrior going in to battle should feel.  You have to feel that you are stronger, better, and more virtuous. Otherwise, why fight?

I have really enjoyed the last couple chapters that I have read of this book. It is taking me way longer to read this book than it usually does. But I really am enjoying it, especially what I have read today. I love to hear someone profess their love for their country. And to hear if from a man who suffered immensely for his country- it's wonderful. It is horrible to read what happened to him, but lovely to read about the men he was surrounded by and the man he is. 

It is also really interesting to see the political vs military approach to Vietnam. It was opposed, partly because the war went on and on. But it went on and on, partly because the politicians put too much stock in public opinion and not enough in winning the war. 

Sound familiar?? I thought so. 

My trials of today were not horrible, but they were trying. P was a big bag of whine today. And not a good Sangria. I tried to have a good fun walk near the river, with some playground time as a reward. Instead I had an upset kid and another kid defending her sister. So we cut our walk short and drove home. They were put down for a nap early and woke up so much happier. Thank goodness!

#310

Sitting on a Tinkerbell rug, tossing around a ton of different balls, and laughing. 

That is what this is all about. My life, my journey, my past. It is all so I can be a mommy to P and K, and teach them to catch a Princess football.  

Today was a good day for us. We tried out MOPS for the first time. It was nice to chat about stuff with other ladies. It was nice. I was feeling ok about the meeting, until I picked up the girls. Then I was feeling great about it. The girls had a blast. They were playing with other kids and burning tons of energy. As we were driving home they asked to go back to play with their friends. So we will definitely be going again. 

I got the chance to hippie up my girls today, too. We saw a crew trimming trees and bushes while we were driving. And since the windows were down, the girls asked about the noise. I told them trees were being cut, but that isn't very nice. Because we love trees, they are pretty, and they help us breathe. K was all in to it- which doesn't shock me because she is my hippie chick. P thought about it for a while. Five hours later she told me trees are nice. Love them. 

Now, I have one dog asleep on his bed, one asleep on mine. Apple butter making itself in the crock pot. A pounding head. And a good book. 

#309

I woke up early to make bagels this morning. And I remember waking up early last week to make a yummy yeasty breakfast bread. I don't like mornings, but am willing to get out of bed if properly motivated. And maybe this is all prep for when I get all big and bad with my own bakery... Oh dreams...

The bagels were good. Plain, which I like. But I remember this bagel place I loved when I was younger. Asiago bagels with a yummy garlic spread. A friend also suggested I make asiago bagels. So next time I am going to try out a few variations. I am super happy I made the plain bagels though- they were yummy and easy. 

My baking addiction had gotten a little out of hand lately. I went to the store and had to buy some more supplies. And even though it was on my list, I still forgot yeast. So annoying!

My trip to the store was filled with minor annoyances. Te girls and I got ready, locked the front door, walked to the car. And discovered the girls car seats were not in my car. J had them. So we walked to the park instead. 

J came home, for about five seconds, unexpectedly, so I grabbed the seats and we went shopping. We get to the store and start shopping. Of course, a few things I needed were MIA. I forgot to give the cashier my awesome grocery bags, so I now have 50,000 plastic bags that I will have to remember to take back it. And J's toothpaste, that I was so proud to remember, somehow got lost between my cart and my house. 

As I said, minor annoyances. 

My chickens were pretty great today. We had fun just being us. They helped me make some sugar cookies, and picked the color for frosting. Orange, probably because they saw Orange frosting on cookies at the store. Mine were better. And my family had fun making them. Love my girls. 

#308

I made more jelly today. Jalapeño, but a different recipe. This one used twelve, yes twelve, jalapeños! My fingers are still burning from cutting those bad boys up. And I didn't even do very much cutting- just enough so my handy dandy Pampered Chef chopper could do it's job. But J's stupid plant is providing an impressive bounty, so I have to do something with them. Possibly give them to trick or treaters in a few weeks?!

I was thinking about the bible study issues today. Well, my issues with it, I guess I should say. And I have decided that I need to say something. Not just for myself. But because I want this bible study to be as great as it could be. There are some great women there, and we could all learn so much from one another. If things were organized better. Or so I think. So I am going to try to speak with the people I need to speak to. 

This evening I watched a video. It was a super hard thing to watch and to think about. And it was something that I never would have thought of, a comparison that never crossed my mind. This video compared Hitler's holocaust to America's abortions. It was really interesting. 

I also read an article about people's attire when attending Mass. And I really liked what it said. Basically, cover yourself up and show respect to Our Father. Common sense. But it really isn't anymore. Not gonna lie, I wear jeans to Mass sometimes. But I prefer to wear nicer clothes. And as a female, my biggest clothing concern is making sure 'the girls' are not on display. Because even though God made them, His people do not need to see them. 

#307

Sometimes, the most memorable thing about Mass is your child walking right in to a wall!

Yes, my daughter Grace. After receiving Communion, as we were walking back to our seats, K wasn't paying attention to where she was walking. She does that all the time. And Bam! The wall just jumped out at her. While complete strangers were being nice and concerned, I was laughing. The girl really has an immense lack of grace. 

Yeah, that was the highlight of my day. I did nothing else today. The only other good and memorable thing about today was seeing my awesome be a great dad. 

He took the girls for a walk to the park. I was instructed by my princesses to stay home. So they went and had fun. It was cute. I looked out the window and got to see my girls have a great time with their daddy. And when they got home, I got to hear all about it. 

That was pretty awesome. 

#306

Either A, I am getting sick. Or B, my body is reaffirming that it doesn't like the cold weather. Both mean the same thing- I feel like poo. I am tired and my head feels heavy and my muscles are getting that achy feeling. 

It might just be the cold. This morning I woke up early and took part in a stupid American tradition. Setting your used belongings on the curb for others to look at and hopefully take home. Yep, for the first time in my life I had a yard sale. On the worst day ever. It was 44 degrees when I was setting up. And the huge tree in my front yard completely blocked out the sun. Then there was the so very pleasant wind whipping the cold air around. I froze. 

But I did sell a few things. Not as much as I wanted. But i got rid of a few big things. So I am calling it a draw. 

This afternoon we went to an orchard for their apple festival. J and I were excited to get a ton of apples, to help the girls pick their own, and to make yummy things when we got home. The girls were going to see animals and go on a hay ride and have a good fun day. 

That was our thought. Reality?

We were not able to pick our own apples. When I asked about it I was told the apple trees hadn't had a good year. Ok, that understandable. But why were you advertising 'pick your own apples'?

The girls did not want a pony ride. J's allergies were not happy to be around nature, so the hay ride was out of the question. And there was no cider. 

Instead of bringing home an immense amount of apples, we brought home three goldfish. Really. Their names are Pink, Purple, and Green. Note to self, only let J play carnival tossing games if I want him to win. Really, three goldfish! I admit, it was my idea to play the game and get the girls a fish. I just didn't expect him to succeed so completely. 

So we drove to Walmart and got a fish tank, a bag of apples, caramel dip, and some beer. 

Today was not the day I had planned. But it was interesting. And good. 

#305

Hey, guess what. Today is Friday. Crazy, because all day I was thinking it was Saturday. And all day I kept reminding myself it was not Saturday, because I have plans for tomorrow. But I still tried to watch SNL. 

Yeah, I'm pretty sure I am losing my mind. 

Today was a day filled with sassy girls, sheer exhaustion, and a little baking. 

The chicks are just so cute in their attitudes. Exhibit A: in my hometown, the Six Flags killer whale's name is Shuka. P and K love that whale and still talk about the show, almost 2 months later. Today, we sat down to watch Free Willy. I had a little argument with them about whales. It is not a whale, it is a Shuka. No, Shuka is the name of a whale. Insert annoyed snotty look. Oi. 

Then, we had a discussion about the sun rising and setting. It was 9 am and I was informed that the sun was going down and it was getting dark. Nope, Love, the sun is rising. Again with the annoyed snotty look. So we talked about the path of the sun, east and west, night and day. And J and I decided that I will not homeschool and we will definitely pray for their future teachers. 

When nap time came around, I passed out on the couch. I was out for a good 2 hours. Thankfully, J was home because the girls didn't nap as well as Mommy. So what is the deal with this complete tiredness? I am fine one minute, then drained the next. Adult onset narcolepsy?!

The nap paid off though. I had enough energy to bake pumpkin bars and whip up some cream cheese frosting. They smell lovely, and will surely taste awesome. I will find out tomorrow while I am getting my yard sale on. 

#304

My neurologist rocks. He cracked me up today. We started talkig about California and the crazy people there. He was great. And he gave me new drugs. Hopefully they work!

My little children didn't quite rock today. K was acting like she didn't feel good. No idea what was going on with her, she was just not acting like herself. And P kept saying she didn't feel good, but she wouldn't say what was wrong. I am thinking the weird twin brain kicked in: one of them was not feeling quite right and the freaky twin thing kicked in so they both felt bad.

So while I had to get my prescription filled, they were acting like fools. Then they ended up taking a nap when I told them to go to their room and calm down.

Oh yay my life is so exciting!

#303

This morning I woke up early and made English muffin bread. I do not like to wake up early. But it was totally worth it! That bread was delish! And the recipe makes two loaves, so one is in the freezer for later. That makes me happy!

A, this really cool chick here, came over for a while with her kiddos. We all had fun. The mommies got to talk, which is so nice to do. The girls loved having friends over! They were so sad when everyone went home and kept asking for their friends to come back. And for some strange reason my girls were calling A's kids their cousins. Silly girls. 

This afternoon I went to walmart for a couple things. And while I was walking around, I found the greatest thing ever!! Canned pumpkin! Every time I go to the store lately, I am on the lookout for pumpkin. I cannot wait to bake up some yumminess. But so far, I have been striking out. Until today. Of course, I got 3 cans. And have already decided to make pumpkin bars, maple pumpkin cheesecake, pumpkin bread, and possibly pumpkin soup. 

Yay!

Do you have a favorite pumpkin recipe?

#302

So, Berkeley is awesome. Yes, the college. 

Everyone thinks hippies and special brownies and hemp sandals when they hear Berkeley. However, like everything in Cal, there is more to it than you think. 

I am so happy with what these college students are doing. The republican group on campus hosted a bake sale today to draw attention to a state bill regarding Affirmative Action. #1, I am not a fan of AA. #2, I am a Republican. So:

This Cal bill is kind of just opening a nasty door, saying we can judge people based on their race, sex, ethnicity, geographic area, and 'other things'. Really? That is ok?

I think not. And this group agreed with me.

They had a bake sale today to get people talking about the bill. And to show how unfair the bill is, they based the prices on the customer's race. White males paid the most. Asian, native American, black, males paid less, and women paid even less. 

"How rude! What does my race have to do with a cupcake?!" exactly! Your race doesn't have a damn thing to do with anything, my friend. Which is why I have issues with AA. My boobs do not make me more important than anyone, and my white skin does not make me less deserving. 

So yeah, I think it is really cool that this college campus, which is so often thought of as liberal, is in the news for something that is so not liberal thinking. 

Another story that is annoying me is the talk about Chris Christie. I really do not know much about him. But it is just plain wrong to talk about the man's weight when you are discussing his ability to play the political game. How is it ok to make jokes and discriminate against a large white man, but not ok when that man is skinny and black?? Judging by size is just as wrong as judging by color. 

Come on, don't you people realize how stupid it was to vote based on appearances?! 

#301

How was my mint jelly? 

Awesome!! So awesome that I was confident and made jalapeño jelly this afternoon. I didn't eat that one, since I don't like jalapeños! But J likes it, and it is my best friend's recipe. So I am calling it a success. 

Before my successful afternoon in the kitchen, the girls and I went to the library. Story and craft time, like last week. And the girls enjoyed it as much this week as they did last week. Yay! This week we read a story about a monster, made a monster craft, and checked out Monsters, Inc. Fun!

While I was getting my awesomeness on in the kitchen, the girls watched Monsters. And they liked it. So much so that P was super upset when Boo said goodbye to Sully. My emotional little girl!

So even though my chicks were a little on the whiney side, my husband got home late and is currently snoring, and my kitchen refuses to clean it self, today was a good day.

#300

Three hundred!!!!!

I am so proud of myself right now. Seriously, I rock!!!! 300 down, 65 to go. Damn!

It kind of sucks that today is #300 though. Because I am tired and not feeling very cohesive. So here is a few random thoughts for the day.

This morning, the Gospel reading was a good one, and the homily was good too. And it hit a nerve with me. It was really about saying yes to your calling and actually meaning yes. Do what you are supposed to do. That type of thing. It was a good homily, though I am not making it sound so great.

I made jelly tonight. Well, possibly I made jelly. I guess we will find out tomorrow if it turned out right. But hopefully I made jelly. Mint, from my garden. How cute is that? I am not feeling confident in my preparation though. This is my first attempt, so who knows how it will turn out.

I saw there was an article about our president fund raising for his campaign. And I didn't read it. Possibly because I am not a fan. Possibly because I think the president should be focused on the current job at hand. Hmm, raise money to spend on yourself to keep your job OR do your current job and get our country out of debt. Oh the difficult choices you must face.

Did you know there is milk made from hemp? How cool is that! Hemp is such an awesomely diverse plant. I am totally going to become a hemp farmer. Sounds like a plan!

I am drained. The last few days I have been totally wiped out. Possibly because I am not sleeping so well

Goodnight.