#47

P, K, and I went to a birthday party today. The birthday boy and girl are a couple months younger than my girls, and oh yeah they are twins. Honestly, P and K aren't friends with these kids. And I am little more than an aquantince of the mom. But we went and had a good time.

J stayed at home. And man did that irritate me today. I know he is not a fan of kids. He is not a fan of adults either, to be honest. But come on, guy. Part of being a parent is doing things you have absolutely no desire to do. One of his reasons for not going was that he didn't know the people that would be there and he would have no one to talk to. Well, hey, guess what. I was the only one there without a spouse! It's bad enough when he is gone and can't be there. But not being there because he chose to stay at home really rubbed me the wrong way.

Other than that, today was another day. I felt like a failure as a mother and wife, and know there are a million ways I could have done things better. I am realizing more and moree everyday that I am not the person I thought I was. I am also not the person I want to be.

So I am going to try to be that girl. Somehow.