Today I did not earn my title of Best Mother. Today I did not put in to practice anything that I have been working on. I was not calm, I was not understanding, I was not patient.
I was not loving.
My beautiful daughters were not treated how they should have been treated. No, they were not mistreated. They were not abused. But they were neglected. They were not given the attention or guidance or cuddles that they absolutely deserved.
I have a headache. The kind that makes me want to vomit when I blink. I am hurting. Nothing new, I have experienced this for the past 12 years. But today, I really got to see how it effects my daughters. And I didn't like that.
P and K are goofy and independent and confident and smart and caring and so many wonderful things. Today, I really did not show them how amazing they are. Which sucks. They won't remember this. Tomorrow they will wake up with their amazing resilience. They will give me Good Morning kisses and ask for their milk.
But I will remember.
Hopefully, I will remember to not do it again.
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