#90

I think I might have reached the end of my rope. I am tired of being a single mom every Sunday morning. I know I am not the only one, but I am tired of it. I have a husband, who is home on the computer. And I am trying to pay attention to the priest and not beat my daughters all at the same time. Ugh. It is just really getting to me.

And it's not like they are super bad. They are active and curious and busy and two. And there are two of them. So I just do not know what to do. Going to Mass without them feels wrong. But going with them seems counterproductive. I don't get as much out of the Word, and my patience is stretched so thin most days. Knowing that he is sitting at home makes it worse, I think.

What the hell am I supposed to do?

All day today I have been in a mood. Because of the Mass thing, and because of who knows what else. J and I are so hot and cold lately. I feel like I never know what is going on with us. Is he going to be his sweet self? Or will the jerk be the one who walks through the door? And heaven forbid I say he has an attitude. If you ask him, I am the one that was rude, or bitchy, or ill tempered, etc.

I repeat. What the hell am I supposed to do?